This past weekend was a toughy. Friday was Justin's 36th birthday ( Happy Birthday Love! ) Being the busiest weekend of the year for me, I had to work. I felt really bad, but had asked Justin if he would mind weeks in advance. He is really not much into birthday's, so he encouraged me to go give the gals a little fun! :) Lindsey's best friend Rachel shares a birthday with Justin and this was a biggie for her.... SWEET SIXTEEN! Friday's are a short day for Justin so we had a little pizza party and sang happy birthday with a pan of cinnamon rolls since they are Justin's favorite and he is not a fan of cake. After he opened his gifts, which he absolutely loved, I was off to my party and Lindsey off to spend the evening with old friends to celebrate Rachel's day. Surprisingly enough there was no hockey practice for anyone so the 3 younger kids and daddy just spent the night playing street hockey ( it just never ends around here :) ). All and all I believe Justin had a good birthday. This day however is bittersweet. February 6th is the last day that Lindsey saw her mom. She was such a trooper in trying to stay upbeat for her daddy and best friend, but the poor sweet girl was hurting so badly inside. What do you say? Justin and Linds had a great conversation on the ride over to Rachel's house about "the day". He consoled her on the hurt and anger that she was feeling and let her know, that he knows exactly what she was feeling. I can't imagine, nor do I EVER pretend to know.
Saturday was the actual anniversary of Carrie's death and Lindsey spent the night with her grandma. They comfort each other without having to say a word.....it is a bond that only they can share and I think that although it hurts, it is an indescribable feeling that Lindsey and her have together. Something very special.
Carson apparently played the game of his life and unfortunately I missed it due to work. Justin called me on my drive and gave me the play by play and the excitement came right through the phone. I cried. Nothing to surprising, I'm a cry baby, but I could here how proud Justin was and could feel through his voice how amazing Carson was on the ice that afternoon! Way to go buddy, you have improved leaps and bounds this season and I LOVE watching you and being a part of your hockey journey ! Every single minute of it!
Sunday was LAZY.....Peityn and Kaedin "chilled in their jammies all day, Carson had a morning game and Linds was with grandma for the better half of the day.....I LOVE lazy days with my family.Simply. Love. It!
Monday came and although I promised myself I wasn't going to let this day get to me....it did a little. Subconsciously the feeling of pain surrounded me. This year marked 15 years since. Nothing I wanna talk about, just sometimes marking it with a quick note is sort of like the "period" or "exclamation point". It's done.
So we move on. It was emotional, it was tough. We cried a lot this weekend, but we also laughed and reflected. I love my life. I am blessed with such amazing people. My husband is my rock, my children are my spirit and I have an amazing soul that carries me through this beautiful chaos....our life!
God Bless & Warm Regards,
~Jessica
xoxox
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
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