That's how I have been feeling the last couple of days. Not sad or mad, quite happy with my life actually.... the shit that other people are going through right now makes my life look like something out of a fairy tale!
There is A TON of drama surrounding the people in my life right now and I am doing everything in my power to stay away from it. I just keep telling myself the power of positive energy and to keep all of the negative "crap" outta here! It's exhausting!
So, I have come to terms with the fact that here we are in Feb. already and I just am not happy with my lack of commitment to myself! I am fully admitting that some of my life style changes have just not been happening and I go to bed every single night saying I am going to change this or that tomorrow and guess what? it hasn't happened! ughh....I get so dang frustrated with myself and my pure laziness! People argue that fact that I am lazy because I am ALWAYS on the go, but goodness gracious where does the time go? I have been promising myself this damn Y membership for months.....and I still don't have it. So I asked myself why that was today.....I actually sat in my favorite spot with my coffee this morning and talked out loud to myself ( it was pretty funny to watch the dog one eye me with a cocked head every once in awhile). Honestly what I came up with is if I go and get this membership then I am held accountable for having to go, if I am held accountable and don't follow through....then I fail.
b: to fade or die away
a: to fall short
b: to be or become absent or inadequate
c: to be unsuccessful ; specifically : to be unsuccessful in achieving a passing grade
d: to become bankrupt or insolventtransitive verb1
a: to disappoint the expectations or trust of
When I read the description of Fail, it is pretty intimidating to me.....so if I don't set myself up to "fail" then I cannot "fall short" or "lose strength"...what a HORRIBLE way to live! Honestly, how much am I missing out on because of this fear?
It's so funny too, because yesterday on the way home from Carson's hockey game we had a little discussion about constructive criticism.....Carson of course did not want to hear about it, although I could tell that he was really listening to what I had to say. I am a huge believer in leading by example.....I think this is one I need to work on!
I have felt horrible with the way I have been eating lately.... I wasn't losing it fast enough on my plan so I "gave up" ( kinda, not fully )I am still smoking.... if I try to quit again and it doesn't work then I "lose strength", I know my business could be even better than it is today if I would take the risk, my relationships in my life better....the fear of failure affects so many things, it's crazy.
God Bless & Warm Regards,
~Jessica
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