December 31st, 2008.....

Crazy isnt it? A whole year has come and gone..... For some odd reason, I woke up this morning bright and early while the kids still sleep sound in their beds. I have this strange sense of anxiety already today. I feel like I want to GET IT DONE! Put the last few touches and peices together on the year and wake up tomorrow morning feeling fresh and new! Looking back in past years, we seem to be having a track record with most of our "better years" falling in the odd numbers.....with a couple of exceptions......but the big picture shows that those years tend to be a little easier on us than the even ones!

This year has been tough. 2008 has definitely brought us many many challenges, but we pulled through, we seem to always find a way to do so. As I am sitting here in my kitchen, drinking my coffee in peace and quite ( that in itself doesnt happen very often ), I am finding myself very emotional.....actually fighting back tears from strolling down my face. I'm not really sure why I am having such strong emotions right now.....but it feels good. It's like I am letting go.....I mean REALLY letting go of this year. Tighten the lids, zip the files, fasten the clips....it's over.

A couple of days ago, I was feeling a little stressed....money has been tight the last couple of weeks due to the holidays.....my overspending on Xmas and slow time of my business, not a good mix. But really, tight??? NO! Just a little below where I like my comfort zone to sit. Anyways, as I was having this ridiculous pity party for myself, if you are a mom you know the one I am talking about.....you kind of sit in your "corner" and wonder where you went wrong in every aspect of your mothering, being a wife, being a woman.....it was quite pathetic for the few short minutes that it lasted. It ended abruptly, I was browsing the interent and happened to come across a headline on the Kare11 news website " Amy Taylor loses battle with Breast Cancer". I instantly choked up before reading on. This was a story that I had viewed on Kare11 extra earlier in the year and remember watching it with such hope, admiration and blessings for this woman and her family. Amy was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was pregnant with their 2nd child. During her battle she decided to video tape messages for her children's most imprtant days to come. Sort of a "just in case"..... Her daughters first date, her sons 16th birthday, the day they would graduate, marry, become parents. When you watch the strength that she presented through these video clips it was truly as if she was being taken over by this immense power....how can one have such beauty and grace during such a difficult time? Amy lost her battle on December 27 and seeing that headline just really touched me in a way that I know only god has control over. So maybe my bank account isnt where I would like it to be? Maybe I am pulling every single hair out of my head trying to find a way to reason with a preteen girl? My house may not be spotless, and their may be laundry that has to get done, but I am here. I can hug and kiss my babies. I can wrap my arms around the man that I fall so deeply in love with over and over and over again. I can embrace the beauty of every single snowflake that falls from the sky. I can enjoy my favorite smells.....freshly brewed coffee, the rain, my kids hair....I am here.

With a new year of course brings new begininnings....I don't want one. The beginning of my story started 30 years ago, and every year is just a continuation of the "beautiful chaos". A fresh start because it is a new chapter sounds divine. What's my New Years resolution? I don't have one. Resolutions are like diets.....you start off so hard, so good at what it is that you want to do differently and by mid month.....POOF! It's gone. In 2009, it is all about lifestyle changes. In order to reach some of the goals I would like to acheive in this year, it has to be done......not a "diet" but a change.

Here are just a few.....

*Jessica is first ( After God )
I am a people pleaser.....enough said

*Stop
I would say to smell the roses but it just sounds so "cliche" It saddens me to think of all the amazing things that have passed me by because I am always in such a rush!

*Listen
I have never had a problem admitting when I am wrong, and here it goes again.....I am hard headed ( big shock I know ), so I really want to work on not only hearing what others are saying but truly LISTEN.....everyone from my children to the man at the grocery store.....again, you just might not know what you are missing out on.

*Commitment
Other then in my relationship with my husband, kids, family and friends.....I lack commitment in a major way! I have no commitment to myself.....and I have finally figured out why. I am totally and completely petrified of failing.....

*God/Prayer
It just has to happen.....I pray on some level every single day, but not enough or to the extent that it is deserved. I have cheated my children immensly on the opportunity to have a strong relationship with God only because I have not led by example or taught them how to believe and build that relationship. In order for any of my other life style changes to REALLY work, this is by far the most important.

So there it is! I think writing this entry was more for myself....it feels good to write/type it out.
Today is going to be great. We are putting the final touches on one more year. Tonight, Justin the kids and I will be celebrating the closing of this chapter at a hotel. I am sure there will be pictures and stories to come!

Happy New Year Everyone!
Cheers to a great 2008 and a beautiful 2009!

God Bless & Warm Regards,
~Jessica

It doesnt happen very often & I know why!

Yesterday was yet again a day filled with fun things to do! Kaedin had hockey in the morning.....oh it was just so fun to watch! I Love it! Oddly enough, Kaedin is not as much of a go getter as I anticipated him to be with the sport, he likes to sit back ( literally ) and watch more then he likes to go for it! It's great!

After Kaedin's practice Justin's friend Jaime and his 2 sons Cole and Blake came over to go to the outdoor rink with Justin and the boys. They obviously had a fantastic time because they were there for 3 1/2 hours! When they arrived home I invited Jaime and his boys to stay for dinner.

I had made a smoked turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and corn....it had to have been better then the McDonalds they were planning on eating. And if you havent already caught on from previous posts, I enjoy having guests at our home.

When dinner was done, it was time for Carson's hockey practice and Jaime joined us for that as well. When we arrived home, the kids were all game for a SLUMBER PARTY! So the adults agreed with the great idea of a little "party" of our own.....GREAT IDEA! ( ?!?!? )

My girlfriend Brandi joined us for a night of joyful spirits and boy did we take advantage of our spectacular company!

We played a little game of Yahtzee! And danced and danced and danced.....we laughed so hard we cried and had a night ( into the early morning ) of just plain fun! We decided about 4 am that it was time to call it quits....

Needless to say when the alarm went off at 8:30 this morning to remind us to get up for a 9:45am hockey game......we quickly remembered, that although we had a fantastic time the night before......we now know why we do not do this very often!

God Bless & Warm Regards,

~Jessica

Holiday Shenanigans with The Otto Family.....

We hosted Christmas Eve at our home this year. Unfortunately Nana and Papa Duane were not able to come home from AZ for the holidays, so it was unusually quite this year. Jeff wasn't with us on Christmas Eve either, so it was Mom, Dad, Jordan, Jared......The Otto Crew, Uncle David and Auntie Teri......although it was a little more laid back, we had a fantastic time!

The past couple of years, we have opted to do an Appetizer buffet and it is always scrumptious. However between Mom's 50th and Lindsey's Sweet 16, we were all kind of "Apped Out" so wanted something different. I like to go a little off the traditional trail most of the time, so had decided that an Italian Buffet sounded divine!








Appetizers were Mini Caprese Salad ( on a stick! The MN way of course :-) ), Bruschetta, Fried Ravioli and Italian Bread. We then moved on to the Caesar Salad, Baked Ziti, Stuffed Shells and a Spicy Bowtie Pasta. We also had a Decadent Chocolate cake along with some baked goods for dessert.......however the cake never even got cut, everyone was stuffed from the delicious dinner!

After dinner, the kids of course wanted to open their gifts......NOW! Kaedin being the youngest, got to go first! He was so patient opening his gifts one at a time while waiting for the bigger kids to get through the rotation. He received so many wonderful gifts this year, and I think his favorite was the SNOWBALL BLASTER from grandma! He has been begging for this toy since he first saw the commercial.

Carson was next and the first gift he opened was his Homer Simpson slippers.....You would have thought they were filled with gold! He was filled with so much happiness and his eyes just gglimmered. Crazy isn't it? $10 item and the boy is in heaven! Carson couldn't choose between the slippers and his MN Gopher hockey jersey as to which was his favorite.....tough choice! He also received a full board of the Quarter Coin Collection, Carson loves stuff like this! Anything he can collect, he is all about! He had a great Christmas Eve! JACKPOT!

Christmas was a little different for Peityn this year and it saddened me some. This was the first year that Peityn knew that there was really no "chubby man with a white beard that came down the chimney on Xmas eve night"! I think we played that out for a good length of time considering she is 11 1/2 ! Unfortunately the way she found out was not how I had planned......I thought we had told her last year, so was talking non chalantley about it with Lindsey while Peityn was right there, and all of the sudden I hear "what"? "Santa is not real"?.....I felt horrible as we both cried together! Then she was mad at me for LYING to her for all these years! LOL! Poor baby! I love how young she really still is! Peityn banked this year on the gifts also. I don't think that she could pick a favorite.....clothes, clothes and more clothes! What else could an 11 year old fashion diva want? She did get a beautiful "Sisters" necklace from Lindsey that I know she will cherish forever!

Lindsey made out like a bandit as well! Again, lots of clothes, gift cards and her absolute favorite....a heated neck massage pillow!! After our day at the spa, she couldn't believe how amazingly wonderful those were, so grandma Robin was kind enough to bring the spa to the Otto home for Linds.My dad is an avid Coca-Cola fan......he has worked there for many years and collects any and everything that has Coke on it ( maybe this is where Carson gets it from????) I found this adorable Coca-Cola bird house on one of my many shopping trips and knew it had just the right special place in a tree at the Oxborough home.

We had a great time laughing, eating and good conversation all night long!

Christmas morning came a little early for Justin and I. About 7:30am we heard giggling and rustling through packages!
Again the kids were loving every minute exploring and rummaging through their new goodies!

Did you know that Santa brings Coach for girls and can fit a Dinosaur and Full size Hockey net in his sleigh???

We had a great morning with the kids.

For Breakfast Justin's sister and niece came over for a large breakfast of Fruit, Egg Bake, Pastries and Juices.....again it was very "relaxed"....especially when Kaedin opened his present of Hulk Hands from Auntie Cookie.

The holiday was over......we had a great time!

Although I am sad to see the holidays come and go so quickly, I am also relieved and motivated to move on to a brand new year!

Happy Holidays!

God Bless & Warm Regards,

~Jessica

Appointment with Santa Clause????

My brother Jeffrey had contacted me the later part of last week wondering if the kids and I would be interested in going to Macy's 8th floor display today. I have been wanting to take the kids, but as I posted previously the end of this year has been busy busy busy! Well, this morning I woke up and it was just freezing, freezing cold and even though we wouldn't need to be outside at all, the thought of going downtown was just not sounding like a joyous Monday outing! After talking with the kids and Jeff we all decided that lunch and a visit with Santa at the MOA was the way to spend the day!



After driving around for just about 40 minutes, in 4 different parking ramps I suddenly remembered why I LOVE Valet services! Thank You AVALET in Nordstroms....you are truly a life saver! No really! With all of the crazy lunatics driving around that parking ramp, I was starting to feel a slight bit violent.....it's just the truth!



Once we made it into the mall, I couldn't find where Santa was hiding out this year! Jeff was to meet us by Santa and we were already late because of our parking excursion. I resorted to asking the information booth where a lost lady with 4 children could find Santa? To which he simply replies "the good one? or the bad one?" Ummm.... well, is the good one "good enough" to convince my 16 year old that there really is a Santa? Or is the bad one "bad enough" to convince my 6 year old that there isn't? What kind of question is that? Trying to be as quick witted as possible, so that my on the fence 9 year old doesn't really catch on....I say, "we would like the BEST one please"......the reply? "Ok, well you can find him across from Bubba Gumps on the 3rd floor......but you are going to have to make an appointment". I laughed, no really....I did. Since when do we have to make an appointment to tell this jolly ole man with the pretty white beard and velvety red suit what we want for Christmas? The gentleman behind the Information desk looked at me straight faced and said "I'm serious". I couldn't believe it! Really what is this crazy world coming to?





So we find Uncle Jeffrey and decide to go have lunch before we see Santa. The kids of course picked the Rainforest, sounded good to me! We sat down for lunch and decided to have some good ole family competition with the miraculous kids menus! We found a little game that kept us occupied while our food was being prepared. Lots of giggles, it was great. Our service was horrible. Really truly horrible and I will spare you all the icky details, but we ended up getting half off of our bill. That wasn't what I was going for, but when a waitress pretty much throws a plate at you ( a little exaggerated OK, but not much ) I guess the manager has to do something drastic to make you happy!

Then it was off to see "The Man". We opted for the Santa who's schedule was apparently open for the day and didn't require an appointment. It worked out great because he was right by Lego Land so it kept the boys content during the wait, which by the way was not all that bad!

As we are waiting in line I notice the price of the pictures. Ok, now I am not a cheap person, I like nice things and I like to do nice things for others, but what in gods green earth was I going to do with a 5X7 "portrait" of my kids ( half of which know the "Santa secret") that cost a WHOPPING $14.99??? When we arrived at the "desk" the polite lady asks me, "So what would you like to purchase this afternoon"? I asked her if it was ok to just take my own picture and her politeness quickly turned into, oh, okay whatever attitude. Ahhh the joys of the holidays! Hey, my babies got to see the jolly ole man in the velvety red suit and all was good!We had a great day at the MOA, it was kind of nice because we weren't there on a mission.....we were there to have a little fun!
We visited Brookstone for a nice little massage:

And the Apple Store for some quick self portraits:
Kaedin William

Carson Joseph

Peityn Elizabeth

Lindsey Nicole

And of course mom had to get in on the fun!

Carson found his long lost brother:

And we got caught in a cage while being chased by a shark!
I had an amazing time with my kids today! It was a great start to a 2 week Holiday Vacation, No appointment needed!

God Bless & Warm Regards,

~Jessica

Lots to catch up on.....it's been a couple of days!

The last few days seem to have just come and gone.....but I have so much to say so I am going to just babble, babble away here!

Friday was FUN! Yes, that's right, I actually enjoyed the Holiday party at Kaedin's school! The children were very well behaved, and Kaedin was thrilled to see me show up in my HOT PINK Santa hat! It was great to see his reaction. Kaedin's Kindergarten teacher is amazing, I mean truly WONDERFUL and had everything so well organized it was almost to good to be true. We made reindeer food, a bookmark, flung wet cotton balls at a snow man, made a cookie treat and a couple of other fun crafts throughout the morning. At the end of the morning, one of the dad volunteers read a story to the kids and VOILA the party was over!

I must say that I was very impressed to see the number of fathers that attended the party. There was the same number of daddy's as Mommy's helping out and I would have to say that in the past, this has been quite rare. There is a part of me that sometimes wishes that Justin was "that kind of daddy" but then I think about it, and who am I kidding, that is MY thing and if he did, I might be a little sad.....is that wrong? I have just always been the "not so typical" SAHM that has a love/hate relationship with these types of things. Call me old fashioned, but daddy has his time with the kiddos and mommy has hers. Plus, when daddy does come to do these types of things it is always extra special and I think that's important too.

Saturday morning brought a whole new ball of excitement! kaedin had his second hockey practice and boy was it precious! Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the first practice because it was the day of Lindsey's birthday party, but I vow to do my very best to attend as many as I possibly can from this day forward! It was fantastic!



Kaedin is the funniest little boy! He is always trying to play so tough on the outside, but he is certainly not afraid to show is lovey side either!

The above picture is Kaedin getting quite frustrated with the fact that he was being distracted by the paparazzi, aka his mother, during practice. This little boy puts all his heart into everything he does and I give him a lot of credit for that! At one point I saw a big crocodile tear because he was upset that he wasn't "the best" at one of the drills. That of course saddened me and we needed to have the talk about just trying your hardest and doing the best that you can. His heart was soon healed! During the last 15 minutes of the practice, the coaches opted for a quick scrimmage. Kaedin's team was doing great, winning as a matter of fact and so Kaedin decided to kind of "sit back". Next thing we know, we see Kaedin in "deep" conversation with another player. The horn blows and it is time to get off the ice.....all the players start skating towards the door and after about 30 seconds Kaedin and his "friend" do so as well.....the kids have their first names instead of the last name on the back of their jerseys and well.....Kaedin's friend was KENNEDY! My son was "playing" his own game, while the rest of the team was playing the game of hockey!

Saturday brought in a beautiful snow fall as well! Although the roads were nasty, the scenery was gorgeous! As a family we opted to do some baking and make homemade pizzas for dinner before we headed back to the rink for Carson's 7:30pm hockey game.

As the baking extravaganza began, I quickly realized that we were out of a very important baking ingredient, eggs. Justin was nice enough to drive me to the grocery store so that I didn't have to fight the roads alone. Once there, he pulled up to the door and said "I'll watch for you". I whined a little bit about him not wanting to come in with me, and then let it go.....I know how much he HATES the grocery store. So as I am rounding the aisles, I notice out of the corner of my eye this CRAZY man keeps following me and keeps getting closer.....and closer with every step I take. I have to say this, I was really getting creeped out and was afraid to make eye contact with this freak! Next thing I know I feel hot breath right next to me on my shoulder and slowly turn around to realize it is my husband! DAMN IT! He totally got me! We laughed and laughed and people thought we were crazy, but it was one of those "moments". If you have been married for 5+ years, you know what kind of moment I am talking of! The rest of the grocery shopping trip was probably one of the best I have ever had.....the rest of the day was PERFECT!

Justin was in rare form that day, and we all loved every minute of his pure goofiness! The kids and I made lots of chocolaty treats and then on to the pizzas! AWESOME! We had so much fun being our own little chefs! It was a fun filled family day!

The weekend brought a lot of what this season is all about to our family! We had a fun, food,family, laughter and most importantly love all around us. It was definitely one of those weekends you just didn't want to end!

God Bless & Warm Regards,

~Jessica